How many times has this happened to you? You want to ask for something from a friend, a family member, an employer, etc. You wait patiently but it never seems to come to fruition. Perhaps you consider yourself a well-mannered polite person who doesn’t want to put pressure on the other person or entity. You have to speak up, otherwise, it’s easy to become invisible! How do you speak up without coming across as demanding?
We can use the example of a romantic relationship. It is crucial that you communicate your needs. If for example, you find that your mate hasn’t been paying enough attention to you, you can choose to be quiet about this and suffer in silence. You’re motivation in not communicating about this might be “I don’t want to bother him or her”, “maybe I’m over-reacting”, I don’t want to seem insecure” etc. These messages you think to yourself only serve to further the status quo and things stay the same. You let the dysfunctional dog lie. If you can communicate your feelings, you may be pleasantly surprised to see that positive change can happen with communication.
Speak up! Your personal needs mean something, so make them known! If you are passive and don’t speak your needs, you will not only not have your need met, you’ll wind up resenting the person as well as yourself. So, speak up. There is a good chance the other person didn’t realize how important is to you. It will be helpful to ask in a respectful, courteous manner as this will help avoid hurt feelings on the other side. Speaking up most often will make your relationship better.