You make me feel

How often do you attribute your bad feeling to another? Have you ever uttered the phrase: You make me feel so (fill in the blank with “sad”, “mad”, “miserable” “irritated”, I think you get the idea). When we attribute our feelings to another, we are doing both parties an injustice. You are disowning your feeling and holding another person responsible. It causes confusion in your relations¬†and creating a culture of externalizing your feelings, taking them out of your control and causes you to disassociate from them. It is important for you to be in sync with your own feelings, to be in touch with them, in order to hope to gain control of them. When talking to someone who frustrates you, or whom you feel sad in reaction to their actions or comments, you can tell them: when you do [action] I feel [emotion]. This way you are not accusing another and perhaps even squashing a potential fight. This can improve your relationship. Also, you are taking a step toward being more related to your own feelings and owning them. Understanding your feelings/ understanding yourself brings you toward peace of mind and dare I say, feeling OK.

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1 Response to You make me feel

  1. Sheiresa says:

    Great post. I’ve also learned that being too quick to attribute negative feelings to someone could cause you to engage in conflict with the wrong object of your anger or frustration. It’s important to pause and take time to process those feelings because you could be angry or upset with someone else about an unrelated issue.

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